Something Sweet with Susan

The people in my rehab program made the 35 sessions beyond entertaining! Most everyone in the group was between 15-25 years older than me.  Being used to working out regularly for over 20 years, it was surprising to feel intimidated going into the first rehab class.   The ‘first day of school’ jitters are not uncommon for me and this situation was no different.  Part of it was not knowing what to expect and part of it was being nervous about exerting myself for the first time.

While sitting in one of the chairs waiting to be connected to my monitor and have my blood pressure checked, a lady from Boston with a very thick accent said to me, “What are you doing sitting there?”  A little confused, I replied, “Isn’t this what we are supposed to do?”  She was confused as well.  She started laughing and asked, “Are you here for the class?  I thought you were one of the instructors.”  I was thankful for the ice breaker!  As time went on, she always referred to me as the little cheerleader.  You would have to hear her talk to fully understand how she entertained the group.

One day while wearing my airpods, one of the men leaned over and loudly asked, “What kind of hearing aids are you wearing?”  Another man asked me if I was good with computers.  Next, he asked, “Can you fix my car?”  What the heck?  Come to find out he was wanting me to program some of the controls.  I thought he wanted me to do some mechanical work.  Communication is in the details!

If only I had been journaling during the 8 weeks of rehab, I could be sharing so many funny conversations.   My friends were always wanting to hear about the conversations from my rehab sessions.    

This was a fun time in some ways but terrifying in others.  At first, not being able to walk more than 15 minutes on the treadmill was scary.  It made me wonder if I’d ever get my stamina back.  When you no longer feel young and thriving, sadness can easily set in.  My determination made me push myself to get back my health.  Any feelings of sadness made me look around at others and when you do that it’s easy to see your own situation is not as difficult as it could be.  It made me grateful.

After roughly five weeks into the program, I was on the treadmill and all of the sudden my heart rate rapidly increased to an abnormal level and I felt faint.  I was rushed to the ER and after several hours, ended up back in the Cath Lab to make sure the stent was open and everything was functioning properly.  There were no negative findings.  This was most likely one of several panic attacks that would follow. 

Rehab discussions were not all funny.  Some conversations would create fear like the man who told me he just had his fifth heart attack.  It seemed that most of the people there had experienced more than one heart attack.  That made me very anxious wondering how long, when and if it would happen to me again.  This fear was something I had to learn how to control and overcome.

Professionals, family and friends warned me that I’d go through depression and anger after my heart attack.  Thankfully, neither of these happened to me.  Any little twinge in my chest did create fear (and still occasionally does.)  I also experienced a great deal of anxiety especially about taking trips out of the country that were already scheduled.  It took several months for me to realize I was experiencing PTSD from the day of the heart attack which was causing my panic attacks.  It helped to remind myself what the Bible tells us about being anxious:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7